Post by scrambles on Aug 10, 2009 14:15:59 GMT -5
This post is from my friend's blog. I thought it was worth sharing. It was titled FAITH IN HUMANITY, BAH!
Oh btw, he fixes Xboxes for $$
So rarely am I afforded the luxury of giggling while entering text into my blog. Today, I had the following text message conversation with a potential Xbox 360 customer. This is VERBATIM, by the way.
Customer: How much to fix red ring of death
Me: 30. Done in 1 hour. One month guarantee.
Customer: Ok and how much to modded it.. U got a controller?
Me: I don’t flash. Yes, I have a controller
Customer: U got a harddrive
Me: Yes, I have everything I need
Customer: You sellin then
Me: Oh! You are asking if I am selling them. I do have a
controller and a play and charge kit for sale, but no hd. I also have some cables.
Customer: I need bu least sometimi to play online with
Me: ‘bu least sometimi’?
Customer: What
Me: Your last text didnt make sense
Customer: Ill give you a laptop if you can fix my 360 and give of a controller. About you got a memory card.
Me: No memory card. What kind of laptop and how old?
Customer: How what 1 year and gateway laptop
Me: Does it work?
Customer: Sometimes
Me: Haha, well im not that interested then. Repair and a
controller will be 60.
Customer: Were u live by
Me: Mount Prospect. My address is <address>
Customer: Ill give you a laptop if you fix my 360
Me: I have no use for it. Cash only.
Customer: Why not
Me: I have no use for a laptop that works ’sometimes’
Customer: It dont work never. Il give you the laptop for just
the 360 controller
Me: I dont want the laptop. Cash only.
Customer: I no but I really need it
Me: <Frustrated from texting, I left a very thorough voicemail>
Listen to the voicemail I left you.
Customer: I dont got minutes
Me: Sorry, man. Cash only.
Customer: We cant work sometimes out
Me: Do you know why the laptop doesn’t work? If its fixable, I
might settle for that.
Customer: I did not shut it down.
Me: <Realizing the guy is a complete idiot and the laptop is probably fine> Alright, ill take the laptop for the fix only. For the controller, ill need money
Customer: What u mean. U got games?
Me: No games
Customer: Ok and how much to modded it.. U got a controller?
Me: When can you come?
Customer: I cant come
Me: Are you saying you want me to drive to you?
Customer: Yeah
Me: Where do you live
Customer: Midway <Which is quite a drive for me. This is also the ‘fuck this guy’ point of the conversation>
Me: <Still willing if the laptop is salvagable> Describe the laptop more.
At this point, I hope you are ready for the best response ever. Are you ready? Here we go…
Customer: It flips open and close
Me: Have a nice day, sir.
Oh btw, he fixes Xboxes for $$
So rarely am I afforded the luxury of giggling while entering text into my blog. Today, I had the following text message conversation with a potential Xbox 360 customer. This is VERBATIM, by the way.
Customer: How much to fix red ring of death
Me: 30. Done in 1 hour. One month guarantee.
Customer: Ok and how much to modded it.. U got a controller?
Me: I don’t flash. Yes, I have a controller
Customer: U got a harddrive
Me: Yes, I have everything I need
Customer: You sellin then
Me: Oh! You are asking if I am selling them. I do have a
controller and a play and charge kit for sale, but no hd. I also have some cables.
Customer: I need bu least sometimi to play online with
Me: ‘bu least sometimi’?
Customer: What
Me: Your last text didnt make sense
Customer: Ill give you a laptop if you can fix my 360 and give of a controller. About you got a memory card.
Me: No memory card. What kind of laptop and how old?
Customer: How what 1 year and gateway laptop
Me: Does it work?
Customer: Sometimes
Me: Haha, well im not that interested then. Repair and a
controller will be 60.
Customer: Were u live by
Me: Mount Prospect. My address is <address>
Customer: Ill give you a laptop if you fix my 360
Me: I have no use for it. Cash only.
Customer: Why not
Me: I have no use for a laptop that works ’sometimes’
Customer: It dont work never. Il give you the laptop for just
the 360 controller
Me: I dont want the laptop. Cash only.
Customer: I no but I really need it
Me: <Frustrated from texting, I left a very thorough voicemail>
Listen to the voicemail I left you.
Customer: I dont got minutes
Me: Sorry, man. Cash only.
Customer: We cant work sometimes out
Me: Do you know why the laptop doesn’t work? If its fixable, I
might settle for that.
Customer: I did not shut it down.
Me: <Realizing the guy is a complete idiot and the laptop is probably fine> Alright, ill take the laptop for the fix only. For the controller, ill need money
Customer: What u mean. U got games?
Me: No games
Customer: Ok and how much to modded it.. U got a controller?
Me: When can you come?
Customer: I cant come
Me: Are you saying you want me to drive to you?
Customer: Yeah
Me: Where do you live
Customer: Midway <Which is quite a drive for me. This is also the ‘fuck this guy’ point of the conversation>
Me: <Still willing if the laptop is salvagable> Describe the laptop more.
At this point, I hope you are ready for the best response ever. Are you ready? Here we go…
Customer: It flips open and close
Me: Have a nice day, sir.